Emails and Job Applications – How Can They Go So Wrong??

By Rob

These days it seems that we have to send out a truckload of résumés just to receive the odd response, and hopefully – an actual interview possibility!!! With so many emails going out to these companies it’s becoming hard to remember what we’re sending where and we begin to rush these applications off as we become more impatient with the lack of replies.

However, perhaps these companies have a reason for not getting back to us, perhaps we’ve become a bit too rushed whisking these applications away one after the other, perhaps that “proof-read” we rushed through (or didn’t even bother with) could do with a second thought…

 

Here are a few potential “problems” your application may have encountered, collated from REAL applications to REAL companies from REAL people:

  • “I am about to enrol on a Business and Finance Degree with the Open University. I feel that this qualification will prove detrimental to me for future success.”
  • “Consistently tanked as top sales producer for new accounts.”
  • “Seeking a party-time position with potential for advancement.”
  • “Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.”
  • “Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.”
  • “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.”
  • “I am fully aware of the king of attention this position requires.”

And a few more particulars that probably would not have helped your luck:

  • Candidate stated the ability to persuade people sexually using her words.
  • Candidate included naked picture of himself.
  • Skills: “Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to Detail.”
  • Skills: “I can type without looking at thekeyboard.”
  • Experience: “I’m a hard worker, etc.”
  • Qualifications: “I have guts, drive, ambition and heart, which is probably more than a lot of the drones that you have working for you.”
  • Qualifications: “Twin sister has accounting degree.”
  • References: “Bill, Tom, Eric. But I don’t know their phone numbers.”
  • Cover letter: “Experienced in all faucets of accounting.”
  • Application: How large was the department you worked in with your last company? A: “3 stories.”
  • Skill: “I am bi-lingual in three languages.”
  • Emergency Contact Number: “911.”

So next time you hover your mouse over the “send” button… Let it hover… Give yourself just a few more minutes to proof-read what you’ve written. Check that grammar. Check that spelling. Check that content! Then, proof-read it again!

That is… If you’re actually after a response to those job applications… Otherwise – Feel free to add to the entertainment… We enjoy it!!

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